Why can't
the fat dude from
Accepted be in
every movie? Seriously.
We went to see
Knocked Up the Friday it was released in theaters.
Judd Apatow never ceases to amaze me with his comic genius. From
Freaks & Geeks to
Undeclared and then to
40 Year Old Virgin. He's fantastic. Even more fantastic? He employs use of the same actors, people I could watch over and over. Those familiar with the Apatow stable will affectionately recognize
Seth Rogen,
Jason Segel,
Martin Starr (HAVERCHUCK!), and more recently -
Paul Rudd. From the first episode I saw Seth Rogen in Freaks & Geeks, I knew I'd latch onto his pants and pull furiously, hoping I'd see him again. Freaks & Geeks sadly dried up. NBC just didn't know what it had on its hands. A fucking comedy powerhouse, and - let's face it - Haverchuck was just too sexy for
NBC. Undeclared hit a year after F&G's demise, this time older and more adult-like.. Well at least the characters had beer figured out. Sort of. And then went Undeclared off to the land of awesome, forgotten TV shows, where gems like
Firefly reside. Til 2005, Seth Rogen kinda floated around randomly, popping up in stuff like
Anchorman. And then came 40-Year Old Virgin. This was big(ger) time for Seth Rogen. And thank the fucking gods, this propelled him into Knocked Up land, where he has a starring role. It's about time, kids, because Seth Rogen? Oh yeah, he kicks ass.
The movie itself? Fucking hilarious. I laughed non-stop through the whole movie. Well..until the vagina scene. And then I got to thinking about this whole baby thing. Did I mention Paul and I are trying to have a baby? :D So the beaver scene freaks me out, and I'm here worrying about the va-jay-jay being stretched into baby oblivion, never to return to its former glory. And oh yeah - OUCH. Because babyheads appearing out of vaginas looks scary and ouch-y. Ouch. I got quiet and thoughtful for the rest of the evening. But I didn't let it faze me long. Soon we were quoting The Fat Dude, who shall endlessly remain my fucking hiro, for lines like "Hope you guys have hobo stab insurance." and "What if a body rolls out and coughs its malaria all over us?". SERIOUSLY.
Of course
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer had to be viewed upon the premiere. Oh what a pile of crap that was. Gripes: wtf happened to Mr. Fantastic's accent? What in Christ's name was wrong with
Jessica Alba's eyes (and btw I wish someone would fucking decapitate her), and exactly where was all the freaking action? Silver Surfer wasn't in it that much, but his scenes were pretty much the highlight. I did want to squishy bear-hug him also. But really...nothing fucking happened in the movie. It was boring, and the whole movie was Jessica Alba being a whiny cunt. I want my 8 dollars back. Don't make me sic the kid from
Better Off Dead on you,
Mark Frost. Because even I would run away from that evil little bastard.
And on to
Transformers. I sooo figured that my inner child would be crushed by being forced to watch the raping of my youth. In other words - it didn't suck! Transformers was actually pretty damn entertaining without being cheesy. I was pissed that Volkswagen wouldn't allow their precious Bug to be associated with war machines (considering how the Bug was birthed, hypocrites). It was a pleasant surprise to see that Bumblebee at least got the classic treatment. For awhile anyway. I was highly pissed when B went from being a beat-up classic Camaro to....the new crap. I'm glaring this very second. Most of the audience was all "Oooh" while I was like "GODDAMNIT". Fucking sellouts. Anyway...Transformers had plenty of action. The Autobots looked pretty damn decent, except their eyes looked weird. I loved
Shia LaBeouf as well, he's growing on me. I never liked
Even Stevens much, but the kid is a fairly good actor. I'm almost looking forward to
Indy 4. I didn't like the chick in the movie. Probably because if you look into her eyes, you will realize she has no soul. She makes me shudder. And not in a good tingly way. There was a scene I wish the Fat Dude had been in: when the Autobots fall from the sky like meteors, they rain down in various places around the city. Some random dude is like "hope they have asteroid insurance!" I mean, come on! Was Fat Dude not available? That would have truly cinched that scene. Come on,
Michael Bay, you need to research these things!
So Fat Dude is gonna be in
Superbad, another Judd Apatow comedy gold mine, which also stars
Michael Cera (aka George-Michael on Arrested Development). It's gonna be badass. And raunchy. And full of fellaysh.
The weekend before the 4th of July was spent at Paul's for their barbeque. I drove down Friday night in a terrible mood. Arrived there still in said terrible mood. Mood got worse, because I needed some alone time with Paul. But he had been drinking and therefore this did not compute. Soooo terrible mood turned to worse mood, with me calling him an asshole (hey, if it looks like a duck...). Later on we finally talked. I couldn't get him to understand my need to chill with him a bit after my terrible fucking day, so I could move on and be all shiny/happy around everyone. He decided I should just forget about the day and be all shiny/happy in the first place. Hard for me to do, when I hardly know any of these people. After our talk, I tried to get some rest, but it was so fucking cold, I couldn't sleep. I talked to Drew for awhile, and he finally got me to calm down and even laugh. After we hung up, I had relaxed enough to cut up with everyone and enjoy being around people. The next day: food fight.
Geri, who is pretty much like Paul's sister, smacks Paul in the head. Paul forks a wad of mashed potatoes at her. Geri smashes Paul's plate into his chest. Paul throws the whole plate from the living room into the kitchen and hits Geri square in the shoulder. Over? No way. Later on, Paul throws a pitcher of ice water onto Geri. She tries to nail him back. Paul grabs the water hose and goes INTO the house with it to spray her down. All I got out of it was throwing a plate of cream cheese onto Paul. And then of course I got sprayed eight hundred times with the water hose. It was a fun day. That night I tried to partake in the roman candle/bottle rocket war, but I had somehow hurt my leg. It started cramping earlier that afternoon. It hurt so bad it took my breath away, so for the rest of the day, it was still sore enough that I limped around everywhere. During the fiyahcracker war, I twisted my leg a bit and had to stop. Then I took one of the girls home back to Southaven, which is over an hour away from where Paul lives. Me and three other (16 year old) girls in the car were having a blast listening to girly-pop stuff like Avril Lavigne (hey, damnit I like that stupid girlfriend song). And I introduced them to Lily Allen, heh heh. "Alfie" is good clean fun. :-x
This weekend was our turn to have a barbeque. Not nearly as many people showed up as I thought were going to, but there was plenty enough people to join in the pool festivities. We had float races. I had a tube, Paul had Spermy the Whale, while others had a kiddie boat (this was a twelve year-old kid), a duck, and a regular float. Ahem....apparently my all knees-and-elbows self knocked a few people (read: Paul) out of the way. I wish I could have seen him under the whale trying to win the race. Then we were all doing dives and flips. Cameron had the whale. He would flip off the diving board holding the whale and land on top of it. It was pretty badass. Then Paul broke the diving board. It was fantastic: he went to dive, and crrrrrrrrrack, there it went. We all kinda hovered around it, wondering how we could get it to properly break (therefore avoiding anyone else trying to jump on it) when Paul took a flying jump onto it and got it to finally break enough so that it's unusable. Finally the food was ready not long after that, and I even ate some ribs. Anyone that knows me is aware that I mostly eat beef or chicken (not that I eat much of either). I'm damn picky about weird stuff like pork. I'm sure it will be another ten years or so before I eat any more ribs though. They just aren't my thing.
Last night we hit the "reduced admission" theater to see
300. Paul had never seen it, but I assured him it was pretty fuckin' awesome. And of course he agreed. He thought the tree scene was pretty hilarious. I might have laughed if these damn cramps weren't so bad.
Which brings me to the baby thing. Yes, we are trying to have a baby, but no luck so far. I've been off the pill since April, but I'm assuming my body hasn't readjusted itself yet. Don't worry, we won't be bringing a bastard child into the world.
Speaking of bastards, the Feebs called me again today to let me know they are still working on the case. I was having an almost pleasant day up until then. After that, PMS took over and I became Hellbeast. It just pisses me off that they haven't....done something with those fuckers.
I wish lynching was still legal in Mississippi. :D
